Skip to content
Best Funny Instagram Captions
Funny Captions For Instagram
- Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate.
- I Live And I Learn But I Wait My Turn. I’m Always On The Run, Got Weight To Burn.
- They say don’t try this at home…so I went to my friends home!
- Eat, sleep, click, repeat.
- Lost in the world that doesn’t exist.
- I`m jealous of my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs.
- I am not fat, I am just… easier to see.
- I know I’m lucky that I’m so cute.
- If there would be an award for being lazy, I would send someone to pick it up for me.
- The moment when she says you’re cute.
- People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
- Born free, taxed to death.
- You laugh. I laugh. You cry. I cry. You jump off a really tall cliff. I yell, “Do a flip!”
- When nothing goes right, go left instead!
- Don’t give up on your dreams. keep sleeping.
- Friends knock on the door, best friends walk into your house and start eating.
- Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.
- Best friends-Ready to die for each other, but will fight to the death over the last slice of pizza.
- Oh, darling! Go buy a personality.
- I don’t always surf the internet, but when I do, eyebrows!
- Do you actually have friends? Ans: Yeah, bro, all 10 seasons on DVD.
- Friends buy you lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.
- Friday is my second favorite F word.
- Best friends. Because anyone else heard our conversations we’d end up in the mental hospital.
- Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
- I haven’t done this in a while so excuse me.
- I’m a smart person, I just do stupid things.
- How do people write an autobiography? I can barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday.
- 7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
- Remember when you were better than me ?.. Ans: ya neither do I.
- If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I’ll tell you more.
- Nothing is illegal until you get caught.
- I’m your worst nightmare.
- Aspire to Inspire before you Expire.
New Funny Instagram Captions For Friends
Funny Captions For Instagram
- If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down & kill it.
- You made me laugh so hard. Tears ran down my legs.
- I make the moves up as I go.
- I think you are lacking vitamin me!
- Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software… it’s called Monday, please fix it.
- There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking. So we meet again.
- What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram.
- There are 16-year-olds competing at Olympics and I still push on pull doors.
- I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
- Onions make me sad. A lot of people don’t realize that.
- Silence is the best answer to all questions and Smile is the best reaction in all situations. Unfortunately, both never help in VIVA & INTERVIEW.
- I know you are a sensitive person but no worry I am Sensodyne to your sensitivity.
- We tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of our lives!
- You make my heart skip a beat.
- Not all the best moments are created with the one you love, some are created with true friends, a blissful beach, and some beer for sure!
- All you need is love, and investors. All you need is love and investors.
- Every tall girl needs a short best friend.
- When you fall I will be ready to catch you- with love, floor.
- You know you’re ugly when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera.
- I need a six-month holiday, twice a year.
- Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married.
- I’ll never try to fit in. I was born to STAND OUT.
- May your coffee be hot and your eyeliner even.
- An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
- I am not lazy, I am just on my energy saving mode.
Funny Selfie Captions/ Funny Captions For Friends
Funny Captions For Instagram
- God is really creative, I mean just look at me.
- Only dead fish go with the flow.
- Can I take your picture? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
- Roses are red, violets are blue, Oh my friend you to a zoo.
- I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship.
- No one will ever be as entertained by us as us.
- It’s okay to be a glow stick; sometimes we need to break before we shine.
- Can Bob the Builder fix my bad attitude?
- If I ever let my head down, it will be just to admire my shoes.
- God is really creative, I mean just look at me.
- I’m so happy to have you in my life. Please don’t ever leave.
- Friendship is, being equally annoying.
- I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!
- It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing.
- Brains are awesome. I wish everybody had one.
- I look at people sometimes and think …………. Really?? That’s the sperm that won.
- The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.
- Look behind you see any eager faces, waiting for your next post? I thought not.
- I just saw the smartest person when I was in front of the mirror.
- Every tall girl needs a short best friend.
- Eat right, stay fit, die anyway.
- Let’s just stay friends = never talk again.
- I hope you dance like no one’s watching because they’re not—they’re taking selfies.
- We’ll be the old ladies causing trouble in the nursing home.
- The language of friendship is not words but meanings.
- I hope we are good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.
- I’m usually charming, nice, and well mannered, OK for those who really know me you can laugh now.
- With great girlfriend comes great expenses.
- Drinking every night because we drink to my accomplishments
New Funny Couple Captions & Funny Food Captions-2020
Funny Instagram Captions
- Newton’s law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with some loss of money.
- When nothing goes right, go left instead!
- I’m actually not funny, I am just mean and people think I’m funny!
- I am not feeling lazy actually, I am just incredibly motivated to do nothing.
- I am not lazy, I am just on my energy saving mode.
- Warning – You might fall in love with me.
- Without me, it is just Aweso…………..
- Finding friends with the same mental disorder is priceless.
- People are like Oreos. The good stuff is on the inside.
- Cousins are created so that our Parents can compare marks.
- Winner winner tasteless dinner.
- You marry so that you can know each other and the process lasts for infinity.
- Brains are awesome. I wish everybody had one.
- Eat right, stay fit, die anyway.
- Life gave you lemons? Make lemonade then.
- I’m actually not funny, I am just mean and people think I’m funny!
- An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.
- I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
- I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
- I’m as useful as the pause break button on the keyboard.
- People are people but my fellows are really fellows.
- Dear Lord… please give me some patience NOW…NOW…
- I’m different, fuck your opinion.
New Funny Captions For Instagram
Funny Instagram Captions
- Look dope chic, spice and so nice.
- I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.
- I can kill to get a noble peace price.
- If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.
- As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure is going to happen.
- Please GOD if you can’t make me slim, make my friends fat.
- Nobody can handle me even if I got instructions printed on me.
- Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
- Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.
- I like you because you are weird too!
- I`m jealous of my parents, I’ll never have a kid as cool as theirs.
- I was a really good kid, but then i met my best friend.
- My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
- The best way to look younger, hang out with older people.
- Do you know what’d look good on you? Me.
- A friend in need of a friend to be avoided.
- My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch … I call it lunch.
- Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean…………… But the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face.
- I’m not weird, I’m a limited edition.
- On a scale of 1 to 10, I’m a 15.
- I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot. Sleep for a while. Wake up beautiful.
- I miss you like an idiot misses the point.
- I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.