Funny Facebook Status

[150+] Best Funny Facebook Status And Captions-{2020}

Beat Funny FB Status- 2020

Funny Facebook Status
Funny Facebook Status
  • Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
  • I hope the next big trend in any form of art is genuine talent and quality.
  • Elevator music bothers me on many levels.
  • Can’t you be a little loud, I can’t feel your energy.
  • When you die, the others around you suffer. Same when you are stupid.
  • Between diet soda, the Impossible Whopper and non-dairy creamer, our foods have become more fake than our online personas.
  • Good morning people of my country, tell me, what are we offended by today?
  • A man is as young as a woman he falls for.
  • Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.
  • Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.
  • Why do stores have a lock on their doors although they are open 24/7?
  • The easiest way to double your money is to fold it.
  • You marry so that you can know each other and the process lasts for infinity.
  • Never Give Up On Your Dreams. Keep Sleeping.
  • Facebook is a fridge. When you are alone, you open it to see if there is anything there.
  • Facebook, suggested friends are the people I am trying to avoid intentionally.
  • Love is a long sweet dream & marriage is an alarm clock.
  • Mosquitoes are like family as they suck blood.
  • I am still wondering how my parents spent their first part of life teaching us to walk and talk and the other half trying to sit us down and shut up.
  • if your dog barks and enemies laugh take it serious.
  • I went outside once, the graphics were ok, but the gameplay sucks!
  • If you are reading this then I’m sure you have nothing to do in your life.
  • The exercise I do is ‘running out of money.
  • Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
  • The world is great. Until you wake up.
  • Seems like I picked the wrong week to an adult.
  • If you think things can’t get worse, it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.

New Funny Facebook Status Lines

  • Sarcasm is one of the service offers.
  • Zombies are looking for a brain. Don’t worry. You’re safe.
  • Marriage is similar to go to a restaurant, order something, and then looks at the nearby table, and I wish you would order that.
  • There is no logic in why short pants should cost the same as long pants.
  • The reason why I change my status every day is my GF wants me to do that.
  • Paul likes animals. The sweet and sour chicken.
  • WAIT! Do you have appointment to see my status.
  • Food is a vital part of a balanced diet.
  • Save water by drinking a beer.
  • I’m so poor I can’t even pay attention!
  • A handshake means something completely different to a cannibal.
  • I am not lazy, I am just saving energy.
  • Never let your friends alone. Disturb them always.
  •  I’m not lazy, I’m just very relaxed.
  • The most misinformed people think they know all the facts.
  • It is better to have three at once two times than none at once three times.
  •  If where you live doesn’t have numbers on it you really need to address that.
  • I dream of a better world, where chickens can cross the road without anyone questioning their motives.
  • What is common in politicians and diapers? Both need to change regularly.
  • Ever notice the scariest women are the one’s who flood their pages with pics of Marilyn Monroe?
  • If you are reading this, be happy you know how to read.

Best Facebook Jokes Status

Funny Facebook Status
Funny Facebook Status
  • Facebook should really have ‘no one cares about’ option too.
  • Don’t play stupid with me, I’m better at it!
  •  I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!
  •  Sleep till you’re hungry… Eat till you’re sleepy.
  • 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is stupid.
  • If you cannot find the key to success, pick the lock.
  • My mom said ” Follow Your Dreams “, so i went back to bed.
  •  Always wear cute pajamas to bed you’ll never know who you will meet in your dreams.
  • When does hibernation start? Because I’m 100% participating in that!!
  • I don’t trust girls because girls spelled backward is slrig, and that makes no sense.
  • Crying? Grab a tissue. We do not need it on Facebook.
  •  I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.
  • People don’t want the ugly truth, they would prefer a beautiful lie.
  • You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.
  • Nobody Texts Faster Than A Pissed Off Female.
  • Do not argue with an idiot, as they will beat you with their experience.
  • I am not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.
  • A person who is bad at math should never take a calculated risk.
  • Dear Karma, I Have A List Of People You Missed.
  • On Facebook, you can talk to a wall.
  • I take my irresponsibility seriously.

Silly Facebook Status

  • Talking louder is not how you win an argument, and it never will be.
  • I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.
  • Life Is Short. Smile While You Still Have Teeth.
  • I feel like doing something today, so I am going to sit here until it passes.
  • I am not 40 years old, as I am only 18 with 22 years of experience.
  • The new way of forgetting your past is deleting your chats.
  • I am quitting Facebook to face my book.
  • I liked my neighbors until they put a new password on their Wi-Fi.
  • You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I’m scared!
  • My girlfriend and I are inseparable. Sometimes, it even takes five or six people to pull us apart.
  • The first thing a man looks at in a woman is her heart. The fact that her boobs are in front of her heart is not our fault.
  • My teacher today gave 45 minute speech about not wasting time.
  • Google is for my mind, anti-virus should be installed for my heart.
  • Round is a shape. Therefore, I am in shape.
  • Vegetarians, if you want animals to live, why do you eat their food.
  • Remember kids, the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
  • Always buy your girlfriend flowers for Valentine’s Day, but also remember your wife.
  • Have you ever noticed that it’s impossible to make pinching your elbow hurt?
  • You know what; the zoo is the best place to fart.
  • If money grew on trees, then girls would be dating monkeys..!

New Funny Facebook Status For You

Funny Facebook Status
Funny Facebook Status
  • Facebook is like a prison because you write on its walls.
  • The first five days after the weekend are tough.
  • If nobody hates U, then you are doing something boring.
  • Save paper and never do your homework.
  • Finally, I decided to burn loads of calories, so I got a fat kid and set him on fire. That’s all.
  • Drink till you become the greatest philosopher of your own world!
  • Some people will never admit their faults. I would if I had any.
  • I wish common sense to be more common.
  • Your posts are going viral, just like herpes.
  • My humor is beyond your understanding. Isn’t that funny
  • Serenity now, and insanity later.
  • Money cannot buy happiness. It pays for the internet, which is the same thing.
  • Facebook must have an enemy list too.
  • Without candy crush, I am a kid with no candy.
  • I didn’t change, I just grew up. You should try it once.
  • Sometimes I know I should shut up but the other time, I don’t know when to.
  • The biggest benefit of getting new clothes for Christmas is that I don’t have to do laundry for another week or two.
  • Shopping is an art. I am an artist. Respect Please.
  • If cheat on your partner 90 times, you will only get caught 45 times because of Sin 90 = Cot 45.
  • Teachers name it cheating. Friends call it teamwork.
  • After Tuesday, the calendar screams WTF. No surprise there.
  • Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
  • If the Earth is flat, then my belly is as well.
  • Doctors checked my brain. On the left side, nothing is right. On the right side, there is nothing left.
  • Behind every successful status, there is a Ctrl + C and Ctrl + V.
  • The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.
  • When I find the key to success, someone will alter the lock.
  • I wish to have someone so that I can blame as my wife does.
  • Attitude is like a underwear Don’t show it just wore it .
  • I turned out ok for a kid raised in large part by Bugs Bunny and the rest of the Looney Tunes.
  • The hardest thing I ever tried was being normal.

Funny Facebook Status In English

Funny Facebook Status
Funny Facebook Status
  • Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.
  • How to make a millennial laugh? Tell them you have only 22 photos of your entire childhood.
  • To workout, first, turn your head to the left then turn it to the right. Repeat this until you get anything to eat from either of the two sides.
  • Do not get fit. Pray to God to make your friends fat.
  • I keep wondering when dogs assume it’s for them when someone rings the door.
  • Marriage is the cause of divorce.!
  •  Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
  • Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
  • I only wake early when I can’t hold my pee any longer.
  • Dear mathematics, please grow up and find your own damn X.
  • For once I would like to get kicked into a bar, please!
  • God is really creative, I mean.. just look at me every time!
  • Don’t settle for good. Demand Great!
  • The I before E except after C rule has been disproven by science.
  • Before I die I’m going to eat a bag of popcorn kernels. My cremation should be spectacular.
  • I hate math, but I love counting money.
  • It’s not how tragically we suffer but how miraculously we live.

Intelligent Funny Facebook Status

Funny Facebook Status
Funny Facebook Status
  • Be with a “have you eaten yet?” Type of boy.
  • When Life Gives You Lemons, Squirt Someone In The Eye.
  • Whenever it is a long story, it means they don’t want to tell you.
  • Love marriage, it is like dancing in front of the snake and asking it to bite you.
  • If you fail to convince, try to confuse them.
  • Hey there! I’m using my brain.
  • Eat, exercise, but you will die anyhow.
  • Nothing is illegal if you do not get caught.

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