Funny Status For Whatsapp

[500+] Best Funny Status For WhatsApp in English-{2020}

WhatsApp is not only a platform to talk and chat but instead you can also share funny status for WhatsApp. WhatsApp is always great for sharing all those special funny moments with funny status in English. We have hand picked a large number of funny status for WhatsApp, funny WhatsApp DP and comedy WhatsApp status. 

You can check our list and get the best one for you. A picture can tell thousand of words but words can enhance the picture by telling some story, providing context or adding some sort of mystery so this is what we are trying to put it in our funny status for Whatsapp. 

Our funny status for Whatsapp will for sure compel your contacts to see your status to know what you have to show or tell them through your WhatsApp status. So use our funny status for WhatsApp to make your contact stick to your status.

Funny Status For Whatsapp

Funny Status For Whatsapp
Funny Status For Whatsapp
  • One night, as I as lying in bed, I looked up at the stars and thought to myself: “What the fuck happened to the roof?”
  • Its sad that we live in a world that puts words into the dictionary if enough stupid people use it.
  • I am not stubborn, I am just always right.
  • I might as well change all my passwords to “woman” because nobody can figure them out.
  • I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.
  • Not all men are fools, Some stay bachelor.
  • When everything’s coming your way, you are in the wrong lane.
  • I tried being awesome today, but I was just so tired from being awesome yesterday.
  • Whatever you do always give 100 %. Unless you are donating blood.
  • I’m in desperate need of a 6 month vacation… twice a year.
  • I speak two languages, Body and English.
  • The Word ” Studying ” Was Made Up Of Two Words Originally ” Students Dying “.
  • The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
  • Never steal. The government hates competition.
  • A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
  • I don’t always have time to study, but when I do, I don’t.
  • Adding you as my friend doesn’t mean I like you, I did it to increase my friend list.
  • I’m in shape. Round is a shape isn’t it?
  • Dogs have masters, cat have staff.
  • Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
  • WARNING!! I know karate …..and some other words!!!
  • Doctors finally figured out whats wrong with a boys brain; on the left side, there’s nothing right; and on the right side, there’s nothing left.
  • Behind every great woman, is a guy looking at her ass.
  • My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.
  • I am 100% done with today and about 37% done with tomorrow.
  • Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.
  • A black cat passing by the crossroad can stop hundreds of people what a RED LIGHT on traffic signal has failed to do for long time!
  • My ex had one very annoying habit. Breathing.
  • Eat – Sleep – Regret – Repeat.
  • You bring out the best insults in me.

Best Funny Status For Whatsapp In English

  • His story is History, My Story is Mystery.
  • Whoever tucked the ‘S’ in Fast Food was a clever person.
  • I’ Not Hungry. But I Am Bored. Therefore, I Shall Eat.
  • Mosquitoes are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.
  • I love my bed, but I’d rather be in yours.
  • I’m sorry I slapped you. It’s just you seemed like you weren’t going to stop talking and I panicked.
  • Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
  • Why do tests on animals if we have pedophiles in prison.
  • My wife gives me the speaking treatment.
  • Not to brag, but I still haven’t buttoned my pants back up from Thanksgiving.
  • Life is not a fairy tale, If you lose a shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.
  • Life Is Full Of Questions. Idiots Are Full Of Answers.
  • ETC – End of Thinking Capacity.
  • I started out with nothing and i still have most of it.
  • Congratulations!!My tallest finger want to give you a standing ovation.
  • When I’m bored nobody text me but when I’m busy my phone blows up with text messages and calls.
  • Hey there Whatsapp is using me.
  • How can I be expected to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count?
  • Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.
  • All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.
  • Everybody wishes they could go to heaven but no one wants to die.
  • My drug test came back negative. My dealer sure has some explaining to do.
  • Math Rule: If it seems easy, you’re doing it wrong.
  • Women love shoes because no matter how much & whatever they eat, the shoe always fits.
  • Why bother reading books? We have Eminem; he can read a whole story in 4 minutes.
  • I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them.
  • This is the beginning of the sentence you just finished reading.
  • Girls work on their looks but not their minds because they know boys are stupid, not blind.
  • My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.
  • I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday.

Funny Whatsapp DP Status

Funny Status For Whatsapp
Funny Status For Whatsapp
  • Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
  • I need 6 months’ vacation, twice a year.
  • My girlfriend left me because she couldn’t handle my OCD. I told her to close the door five times on her way out.
  • T.G.I.A. (Thank goodness I’m awesome!)
  • Kiss Me If I’M Wrong But Dinosaurs Still Exist Right ?
  • Be Strong I Whispered To My WiFi Signal.
  • If people are talking behind your back, that’s a good time to fart.
  • Am I Only The One Who Calculates How Much Sleep I Can Get Before Going To Bed ?
  • Someday you’ll go far, and I hope you stay there.
  • I like to hang out with people that make me forget to look at my phone.
  • My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
  • Someone asked me, How’s life….?
  • I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is… Scaring men is easy.
  • The hardest job facing kids today is to learn good manners without seeing any.
  • Yesterday I did nothing and today I’m finishing what I did yesterday.
  • Want to learn how to dance? Have a cold shower today at midnight, I bet, You’ll rock like shakira. Wakka wakka
  • Look, I’m not a smartass. All I’m saying is if you caught me officer, then you were speeding too.
  • If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
  • It’s been 70+ years, Tom. You’re never going to eat Jerry.
  • If I ever need a heart transplant, I’d want my ex’s. It’s never been used.
  • I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.
  • Any room is a panic room if you’ve lost your phone in it.
  • Don’t worry about what I’m doing, worry about why you’re worried about what I’m doing.
  • If life gives you questions, Google gives you answers.
  • Roadside sobriety test are getting ridiculous. Last night I had to fold a fitted sheet .
  • Why is abbreviation such a long word?
  • I Wasn’T Mad. But Now That You Asked Me 7 Times If I’M Mad…Yes, I’M Mad !
  • If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.
  • If you talk behind my back, you’re in a good position to kiss my ass.
  • Women only need 5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure, it’s called a credit card.
  • Never trust a dog to watch your food.
  • Taking selfies is a lot of work when you’re not attractive.
  • Save paper, don’t do homework.
  • I tried being normal once. Most boring hour of my life.
  • Sometimes I prefer to use my face as emoticons.
  • At least mosquito’s are attracted to me.

Best Funny Whatsapp DP Status

  • I Will Do Anything Humanly Possible To Reach The Remote Without Getting Up.
  • Why I Drink Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating salad.
  • Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
  • Attitude is like underwear. Don’t show it just wore it.
  • I used to be an atheist, But then i realized i’m God.
  • Always be positive. “Trips down the stairs” Whew, I got down those stairs fast.
  • I enjoy when people show Attitude to me because it shows that they need an Attitude to impress me!
  • Smile while you still have teeth.
  • Dont you know its rude to talk while I`m interrupting?
  • If two past lovers remain friends, its either they are still in love, or never were.
  • A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world.
  • At first, I didn’t like my beard; then it grew on me.
  • Everything on this earth is self-centered, the difference is the radius.
  • No price tag means it’s free, put it in your pocket.
  • I don’t make mistakes. I date them.
  • Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity.
  • All the life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.
  • People who exercise live longer, but what’s the point when those extra years are spent at the gym.
  • Broken pencils are pointless.
  • A big shout-out to ATM fees for making me buy my own money!
  • A fact of life: After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F.
  • When Life Gives You Lemons, Squirt Someone In The Eye.
  • Think about it ..every time we look back at ourselves few years ago we think we were an idiot.
  • I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
  • I need Google in my brain.
  • Marriage Is A Workshop Where Husband Works & Wife Shops.
  • I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
  • Death is hereditary.
  • If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question.
  • I don’t like morning people..or morning.. or people!
  • How to kill all your enemies? smile.
  • The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
  • If you`re texting two people at the same time, you are bi-textual.
  • I wonder what happens when doctor’s wife eats an apple a day.
  • A little boy asked his father, “daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
  • Admit it, you listen to other strangers conversations and mentally give your opinion.
  • Definition of a human being: a creature that cuts trees, makes paper & write “save trees” on the same paper. say no to exams.
  • Hey there whatsapp is using me.
  • Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
  • Phones are better than girlfriends, At least we can switch off.
  • I Don’T Always Get Asked Out On A Date. But When I Do….It’S On April 1St.
  • Being Someone’s First Love May Be Great But To Be Their Last Is Beyond Perfect.
  • I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
  • I’m Super Lazy Today !! Which Is Like Normal Lazy, But I’M Also Wearing A Cape.
  • Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
  • I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

Funny Status In English

Funny Status In English
Funny Status In English
  • Status under construction.
  • Thanks to google, wikipedia, and whoever the hell invented copy and paste. Thank you guys.
  • Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.
  • It’s better to fail than to cheat but its better to cheat than to repeat.
  • Two wrongs don’t make a right, take your parents as an example.
  • My wallet is like onion, opening it makes me cry.
  • If you can’t find the key to success, change the damn lock.
  • Love is 1 drink and 2 marriage is “don’t you think you’ve had enough!
  • The average woman would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think.
  • “Always be true to yourself” because you only lie to others!
  • I only drink on two occasions: when it’s my birthday and when it’s not.
  • Life is too short to update WhatsApp statuses
  • I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
  • A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
  • A jealous woman does better research than fbi.
  • Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.
  • I can handle pain until it hurts.
  • My job is secure. No one else wants it.
  • It must be difficult to post inspirational status when your blood type is B Negative.
  • Money can’t buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing.
  • Kiss me and you will see how important I am.
  • Excuse me is your last name Gillette? …because you are the best a man can get!
  • While waiting for the right person, have fun with the wrong one.
  • Some people are such treasures that you really just wanna bury them.
  • You`re beautiful until your Photoshop 30 day trial has gone.
  • The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!
  • You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body.
  • A day without sunshine is like, night.
  • Easiest way to feel smart is sharing smart quotes.
  • Whoever says “Good Morning” on Monday’s deserves to get slapped.
  • Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.
  • There are a lot of fish in the sea, but I think there’s a hole in my net.
  • If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
  • Don’t Live Your Life on Assumptions!! They are Best kept for Physics and Maths!!
  • Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people, to remember the same thing.
  • Most mothers feed their babies with little spoons and forks. What do Chinese mothers use? Toothpick
  • Girls fall in love with what they hear. Boys fall in love with what they see. That’s why girls wear makeup and boys lie.
  • I have not failed, my success is just postponed for some time.
  • If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
  • With great power comes great electricity bill.
  • If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot.
  • Words cannot express how much I don’t care.
  • I was gonna make you a rum cake but now I am drunk this is just a cake.
  • Whenever I find key to success, someone changes the lock.
  • Status Unavailable, please try and reload again.
  • All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.
  • I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something.
  • I don’t believe that love comes to those who wait. Today love comes to those who flirt.
  • If you stop telling lies about me, I’ll stop telling the truth about you.
  • For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember that’s where the knives are kept.
  • You didn’t notice that that I used a word twice in this sentence.
  • I’ve found the recipe for happiness. Can someone just send me some money so that I can buy the ingredients?
  • I just smiled and replied, She’s fine.
  • I Don’T Need A Hair Stylist, My Pillow Gives Me A New Hairstyle Every Morning.
  • Keep moving! Nothing new to read…
  • Success is like being pregnant everybody congratulates you, But nobody knows how many times you got fucked to get there.
  • I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.
  • Take Life, one cup at a time!
  • Alcohol will give a different type of power!
  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  • War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
  • Strong people don’t put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.
  • Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
  • The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
  • When I’m on my deathbed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…….

Very Funny Status In English

Funny Status For Whatsapp
Funny Status For Whatsapp
  • If life gives you lemons, squirt them in your enemy’s eye.
  • I feel like I should clean the house, so I am going to lay down and nap until that feeling passes.
  • Never laugh at your girlfriend’s choices… you are one of them.
  • Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
  • People like you are the reason, people like me need meditation.
  • I wonder how on my birthday I get presents and money. I get paid for being born. It is like being Kim Kardashian for a day.
  • Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing pen drive safely.
  • I Graduated from the University of Selfies!
  • when nothing seems right then go left.Hey there! I am not using whatsapp.
  • I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
  • If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
  • Remember, when she cancels a date she has to But when he cancels a date he has TWO.
  • Young love is two hearts with only one thing in mind.
  • The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
  • If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
  • Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing pen drive safely.
  • I’m not addicted to Whatsapp. I only use it when I have time, lunch time, break time, bedtime, this time, that time, at any time, all the time.
  • It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world each day fit exactly the length of newspaper.
  • Hi, I’m James. Let’s bond.
  • I don’t make mistakes too often, but when I do it’s your fault.
  • We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
  • I hate people who steal my ideas, before I get time to think of them.
  • The first five days after the weekend are always hard.
  • Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
  • Where there is a will, there are 100.
  • My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy… so I got drunk.
  • When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
  • Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
  • People are making end of the world jokes. Like there is no tomorrow.
  • If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
  • The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

Comedy Whatsapp Status

  • My fate line shows a long road with a lot of traffic jams!
  • I desperately need a fixed income – Mine is broken.
  • I used to like my neighbors until they put a password on their Wi-Fi.
  • I’ll be a billionaire once I’m done inventing this device that lets you punch people in the face over the Internet.
  • As long as there are tests, there will be prayers in schools.
  • I’m really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff.
  • The question I have not been able to answer is, What… does a woman want?
  • I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
  • I should have come with a manual. I confuse myself.
  • A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.
  • A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.
  • If money grew on trees – girls wouldn’t mind dating monkeys.
  • If couples who are in love are called love birds, then couples who always argue should be called angry birds.
  • I’m the person that the more you complain about me, the harder I’ll try to annoy you.
  • Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
  • People say you cannot live without love, I think oxygen is more important.
  • Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
  • The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
  • Take my advice — I’m not using it.
  • Marriage is like going to a restaurant and order your choice from the menu, And then look at neighboring table n wish you”d ordered that.
  • Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.
  • Whenever I find key to success, someone changes the lock.
  • How can I miss something I never had?
  • Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
  • The awkward moment when you know you shouldn`t laugh, but you do.
  • I love my job only when I am on vacation.
  • Teacher: Who can explain gender discrimination with an example? Student: Women can sleep with whoever they want, men have to sleep with whoever lets them.
  • Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap off your shoes.
  • Knowledge is like underwear, important to have, but not necessary to show off.
  • When I call a family meeting I turn off the house wifi and wait for them all to come running.
  • You never know what you have until you clean your room.
  • Everyone atleast needs one friendship..based on sarcasm and flirt.
  • I am not single. I am in a long-term relationship with fun and freedom.
  • Females are really funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthdays.
  • Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.
  • We also read these funny pages in leisure time.
  • For maximum attention, nothing beats a good mistake.
  • If I’d shot you sooner, I’d be out of jail by now.
  • Boys think of girls like books; if the cover doesn’t catch their eyes, they won’t even bother to read what’s inside.
  • 100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?
  • If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
  • Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.

Good Comedy Status For Whatsapp

Comedy Status For Whatsapp
Comedy Status For Whatsapp
  • No, there can’t be a crisis today. The boss is on leave.
  • Why’s NASA never sent a woman to the Moon? Because it doesn’t need cleaning yet.
  • People with status don’t need status.
  • Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me.
  • God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China.
  • Dear google, please stop behaving like a girl. Will u please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing & suggesting.
  • The best things in life are free *plus shipping and handling*.
  • I think my iPhone is broken. I pressed the home button and I’m still at school.
  • You and your rumors have two things in common, you’re both fake and you both get around.
  • I am so poor, I can’t even pay attention.
  • Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a brighter day.
  • If you’re born in the month of September, it is pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
  • I drink to forget I drink.
  • Everything i like is either illegal, immoral, fattening, addictive, expensive, or impossible.
  • Lovely days in my life: childhood days, school days & collage days, horrible days in my life: only exam days.
  • I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.
  • Sometimes it hurts physically to hold in my sarcastic comments.
  • Even fools seem smart when they are quiet.
  • Sometimes I just wish I’ could fast forward the time to see if, in the end, it’s all worth it.
  • Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.
  • If school has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking.
  • Me and my wife lived happily for 25 years… and then we met…!
  • I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash.
  • If swimming is an exercise then why do whales are fat.
  • Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?
  • Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe, one day, you’ll find a brain back there.
  • On a scale of 1 to 10, I’m a 15
  • Money doesn`t bring happiness, but shopping does.
  • Sorry, i can’t hang out. My uncle’s cousin’s sister in law’s best friend’s insurance agent’s roommate’s pet goldfish died. Maybe next time.
  • I tried my best to see things from your point of view, but your point of view is stupid.
  • For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember that’s where the knives are kept.
  • Too busy to update a status.
  • Phones are better than GF, At least we can switch it off.
  • I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
  • Some wise guy created whatsapp…..And his wife added last seen feature.
  • Life is not a fairytale, if you miss your shoe at night, you are drunk.
  • I’m not 30, I’m 17 with 13 years of experience!
  • I should have come with a manual. I confuse myself.
  • I think the woman who invented the phrase “all men are the same” was a chinese woman who lost her husband in the crowd.
  • Marriage is like a workshop. Husband works and my wife shops.
  • It’s better to fail than to cheat but its better to cheat than to repeat.
  • Isn’t it great to live in the 21st century? Where deleting history has become more important than making it.
  • I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.
  • Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.
  • Enjoy your day, you’re not extinct yet.
  • You are offended by the things I say? Imagine the things I hold back!
  • Don’t make me mess your world up with the truth.
  • Old fart, young heart.

1 thought on “[500+] Best Funny Status For WhatsApp in English-{2020}”

  1. Nice Article, Thanks for Sharing This Information About WhatsApp Status. This Information Very Useful Our Daily life.

    Reply

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